i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
