i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
