the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
