so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
