Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize