I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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