Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
