she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
