Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize