Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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