Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
whose parrot is this?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
