Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
