How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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