shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
