if i died would you start the facebook group?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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