Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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