And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
