Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize