Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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