So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
