i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
