he thought i was a dude.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize