I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
