Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
no you cant smoke seaweed
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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