apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
