you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
