I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
