sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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