Already got asked if we're dating
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
