..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
