Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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