Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
