well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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