so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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