I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
