Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
