it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
