How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
do nipples grow back?
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