I love black thongs
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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