Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
