The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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