shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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