i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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