I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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