Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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