You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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