I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
