I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Randomize
