so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
