M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
