All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
