its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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