Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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