I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
