God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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