Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
