Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
