GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
