Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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